Hillbilly Making You Laugh

Hillbilly Making You Laugh

Monday, November 15, 2010

family

I just thought I would tell you a little about my family. There crazy they run around trying to kill each other with every thing if its big sharp and has a point they wont to hit each other.The other day they were building a tree house but has no nails or screws. What  was holding it up I dont know. But I have two boys an two girls. 
They are great .  They all will say they are country. They love to play out side looking for dead things an some still alive. My wife is a great woman and mother she hast to deal with all of us. She is always telling the kids to take the dead things out side. She cooks up the things I kill or hit with the car.We also have three dogs a cat some chickens an we did have a pig but he is in the deep freeze now. My littlest girl think she was born naked so she is always taking her close off, By the way she is only two. My oldest girl is six she is miss priss. She does not like to get dirty we in the country there dirt every were. She thinks she is a queen because every one should do what she says. If not they will be in some big trouble. Right now she is holding her big brother down so her little sis can kick the snot out of her brother its great he deserves it some time.

Friday, November 12, 2010

hillbilly olympics


Off road four wheeler-3500 Helmet- 50 Winning a redneck olympic event-priceless. This guy wins the gold medal for the best dismount. When in doubt get the heck out- of the way. But he wins the bronze for the boneheaded move of chasing it.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

stupid stupid stupid

I just want to tell you about hillbillys . No we do not breed with family or marry our kin but we take care of each other and respect them. Just wanted to get that out of the way sorry to disapoint you. I wonder how to respect some of,excuse me but the dumb asses out there. Like those pan handlers come on I will work for food dont we all. Fast food places will hire any one . They walk the highways dont they .Have you seen all the good road kill next to the road. They are pests they should get a job like the rest of us .

I hate the lazy of the world . I would do any thing to take care of my family. Family is first so you lazy no good none working people get the hell off the corner an get a JOB. They make me want to throw things at them. Thats why I keep myself in the woods where I belong . I was thinking off stupid things. Animals can be stupid to. Ok squirrels are number one on my list. Come on they eat there nuts in the road then when they see you they run in front of you an stop. Then they think should I check the tire pressure or get the hell out of the way. So then they move so you thought. No they run in the way again and stop shaking with the dang nut in there paws  wondering what the make and model your car is then they see that its jap crap they run the hell out of the way to hide there nuts. 

Deer are the next on my list. The stupid things see bright lights and run to them. If I seen bright lights in the woods I would run like hell. Them dang aliens ain't going to get me again no not the ones from the border. If you think about it they run from bright lights in the dark to. So maybe they are related .              

hog jaws and opossum stew

Good homecookin dinner in my belly got me to thinkin' about some of the silly things ya'all city people do when it comes to feedin' your family. A hillbilly can live off the land, can fix most any thing, and kill any thing (but only kills to feed his family.) The land is his grocery store-if we cant milk, it kill it, or grow it we don't  need it.

The only fast food we eat is the kind we chase down with the truck. You think about, is it fast food? Really fast? By the time you get to town, find out what you want, get it, and eat it- it is cold. Then what? By that time you could have made something fresh in the comfort of you home and it actually tastes better.

I would rather eat some road kill  opossum soup. That's right roadkill. A real man can make a meal from any thing. I brought some rabbit home one day. My wife ask were'd I get it.  She was stumped. I'd just gone to lend some help. Her poppa was cuttin' up a tree to heat the house. (Yes you city people  we still use wood to heat the house. We ain't got fireplaces to just look purdy for our your friends.) Back to the rabbit, well heading back to the homestead a rabbit wanted to see what size tires the pickup had. You see what happened-dinner. We put it on with some roast,  peas, and carrots. It was great. You goofy city people let those critters go to waste. I see tons of em go to waste, such a shame.   

Hiya and crap about me

 My wife told me the other day she was lookin at a homecookin blog. I was like what the hell is a blog? Have I killed one before? Is that why you're lookin for recipes? Only to find out people type crap and other people with no life read it. (like my wife-shouldn't you be cleanin something woman) But hey I gotta do something while I wait for the deers to hang. And I am sick and tired of listen to the neighbors holler at Coojoe.(Pardon the misspellin. As in pardon the phrase not a pardon for jail.) You would think they would learn to chain the dang thing to the wall. But ya know parents they have 8 or 9 younguns and the last comes out wild they still think she's an angel.

People like me make sure people like you stay where ya belong. Or as my stepdaddy says Ya damn Yankees stay in your cities and leave us honest people alone. What the hell is wrong with you city people. You can't clean your house, you can't fix a flat, hell you can't even cook food from the store let alone get it for yourself.

Heck in the last week I killed 3 deer only one required a bullet. The second one was tricky. Almost got away.
Had to jump the ditch and narrowly missed the fence but by golly got my deer. Only cost one headlight bulb. Gotta feed all my younguns. The chickens and pigs always appreciate the leftovers.

Anyways this blog is all about me. Deal with it.